Meeting Katie Couric
A few years ago I find myself in Austin, Texas. I have flown in after an invitation to be a speaker and mentor with the BE Conference at SXSW. I am invited because I’ve applied. I’ve applied because I’m trying to position myself as a “thought leader” in my industry. I am trying to position myself a thought leader because… that’s how you become Somebody.
The marathon week starts with a celebration dinner the night before the conference kicks off. It is sort of a meet and greet for all of the speakers and mentors of the conference. There are dozens of very accomplished women. One by one, each stands to introduce herself. Each stands to reveal her amazingness through a confidently delivered bio:
A woman featured in Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty, and then appeared as a spokeswoman for healthy body image on the Today Show, CNN, Ellen, Dr. Phil, Tyra, and Oprah (twice).
Second City alum and star of the Baronness von Sketch show just picked up by IFC
Director of marketing for VICE
Chief Scientist of Dolby Laboratories
Deputy Director of Astrophysics for NASA
Actress Rachel Bloom and NY attorney Letitia James
And, katie couric
What the hell am I doing here?
As the mic snakes around the room of 50 amazing women it suddenly dawns on me that I, too, will have to stand up in front of the room and introduce myself. Like a tsunami headed toward me in slow motion knowing that I’m about to get seriously pummeled, there is nothing to do but watch it come. Oh shit. The irony of the situation flickers briefly in my mind that I founded and own a branding agency, maybe the only creds I can stand on here, and I don’t have a personal brand elevator pitch ready. But with my last few seconds I can’t worry about things like that. What am I going to say?
The only thing I can do is live up to my personal brand and tell the truth.
“Hi. I’m Shannon DeJong. I’m the producer of the podcast ArtistCEO about merging art & business. I started a creative agency based on truth in branding. The vision is to eventually blow it up as a work of subversive art.” (Shrug)
It seems to go over well. But it’s hard to tell with all that accomplishment in the room. Maybe the others smell some of it emanating off me by mistake. I can only presume that most were practicing their own bios in their heads, and don’t really hear me.
After the dinner I sincerely try to network. I recognize this is a superior opportunity: a conference at SXSW dedicated to women in business, and here’s a whole bunch of accomplished women wanting to support each other. I keep in my mind the golden rule of networking: listen, and just try to be helpful. Don’t push your own agenda. But after talking to like 2 or 3 people, I’m done. I can’t shake the nagging feeling that: nobody needs my help.
I float through a dreamlike couple of days following where I appear on a panel as an expert on personal branding in social media. I’m not an expert in personal branding. I’m not an expert on social media. To date, I haven’t been on social media for two years. At the time of the conference, I have like 100 followers, which are also known as my friends. I am assigned mentorship circles where I’m mentoring women who have basically accomplished what I have… just 10 years sooner than me. I do my best, by saying “just keep doing what you’re doing!”
The last morning of the conference, I am depleted. I'm networked out. It is a great revelation: I'm… an Introvert.
I decide to take a walk in nature along the creek behind the seminary where I'm staying. One of my friends hosting me is currently studying to be a chaplain. A chaplain. It’s a sharp contrast to the fierce of-this-world world of ambition and influence I am playing in. If you’re at SXSW, there’s a good chance your drink of choice is Relevance.
But in this moment, mine is Reverence.
I’m cloistered among the poplar - not popular - trees of a trickling stream. I imagine how old the stream is, and that it’s been licking the roots of these trees since before I was born. Since before I cared who I was in the world and whether or not I was a Somebody. I watch the busy bees on the newly budding fruit trees, smell the sweet burst of pollen in the air, and listen to the strange calls of the black silky grackle bird.
I can feel my soul longing for this solitude as my ego simultaneously yearns for success. I’m about to sit down in the grass and have a proper debate between the two once and for all, when I realize I am due at a "Power Women" breakfast in one hour.
I consider not going, to give up my career to become a chaplain, but coax myself to stroll briskly back to the apartment, shower, dress, and taxi to downtown Austin. I give myself a pep talk: "take the solitude with you. There is no pressure to impress or network. Instead, just beam the love and peace you felt down by the creek to every person you meet today."
So when I walk into the conference room, I don’t worry about how I look or whose hand I need to shake. I just walk to the front of the room and sit down in an open chair at a round breakfast table. I want to get a good view of the stage; Katie Couric is speaking.
That moment, Katie's assistant comes to my table and says "we're gonna put Katie here, ok?" Who am I say no? “ok”.
And that's how I end up meeting Katie Couric.
That’s how I end up being the only person at the table who doesn’t say where I’m from or who I am representing. That’s how I’m the only person who doesn’t get a selfie, or tweet about my proximity to fame, or even say one word beyond my name when Katie asks for it.
She turns to me: “Hi, I’m Katie. What’s your name?” She is so nice. “I’m Shannon,” I say simply and just beam at her the same telepathic message I beam to my seat neighbor and the conference director and my server and the videographer and the dishwasher with whom I also come in contact.
"May you feel love and peace.
May you feel love and peace
May you feel love and peace.
Gotta jazz it up sometimes.
There’s a saying that people don’t remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel. I tried to make them feel loved and at peace.
I hope Katie felt it.
I hope everyone in the room felt it.
I don’t think anyone felt it.
I think I blurred into the tapestry of unrecognizable faces that provided the background for the instantly recognizable. The Important People. In that moment I had another revelation: I just don’t care enough to be confident and important.
However, in this moment, I’m not particularly insecure. I have dropped networking and that feels gooood. Because I am not worried how other people are seeing me, I get to see other people. I get to look around the room and see how many people are self-consciously fumbling with their make up, or nodding their head as another person talks but clearly they’re not listening, and mostly, I get to look at people looking at Katie, sitting right next to me. And I wonder to myself: did Katie Couric get a chance to walk in nature this morning?
Based on how freshly coiffed Katie looks, I don’t think so. Poor Katie Couric. May you feel love and peace, Katie Couric.
I don’t say a goddam thing for the rest of the conference. But I do go back to the stream behind the seminary and have a nice long networking session with the poplar trees and the busy busy bees.